Monday, April 5, 2021

The Starseed Signals by Robert Anton Wilson

 Magick keeps opening me and opening me and opening me ...

 - Starseed Signals p. 428 

The Starseed Signals 
A RAW perspective on Timothy Leary PHD
by Robert Anton Wilson 

This new 470 page plus book published by Hilaritas Press out of Grand Junction, Colorodo lifts the veil a little bit more on two of the most remarkable philosophers and experimental adventurers of the XXth Century.  Robert Anton Wilson and Timothy Leary explored, navigated and transmitted cutting edge, brain-change technologies and applications beginning in the 1950s going until the very end of their respective lives.   They both used their biological deaths to communicate very potent final messages. This book emerged out of one of the most prolific and creative periods in Wilson's writing career, the early 1970s, when he also wrote Cosmic Trigger I, Prometheus Rising and began work on Schrodinger's Cat.

The Starseed Signals arose out of necessity, the necessity to rationally and intelligently explain Timothy Leary, his ideas and research findings, at perhaps the most difficult time in Leary's life.  Behind the scenes in this book, Leary desperately negotiated for his freedom and life with the fascist Nixon regime under extreme duress in harsh prison conditions while simultaneously getting prematurely judged and condemned as a sell-out informant by the Left.  Misinformation and disinformation about Leary's situation abounded and part of Wilson's intention, it seems, was to set the record straight.  

Herein we find a story of real philosopher/adventurers like they had in Ancient Greece:  philos = brotherly love; sophia = wisdom; the story of two friends who truly loved wisdom to the point of endangering their own welfare in its service.  We find out that Wilson presciently compared Leary's position as a State target to Wilhelm Reich's earlier persecution and basically warned him in person that a similar fate might await (it did).  Leary brushed aside these dire concerns with his typical care-free optimistic good cheer mixed perhaps with too much denial for his own good.   

In these pages, Wilson presents Leary's case, his work and consequences, as objectively as possible beginning with the groundbreaking publication of The Interpersonal Diagnosis of Personality, "a study of comparative realities, the power politics of perception and emotion.  Its thesis, in colloquial terms, is that "ego" is a social conspiracy for which one person at a time gets blamed."  You will find no better explanation of Leary's groundbreaking pre-psychedelic scientific contributions to Psychology.  That alone makes this book a treasured historical document.  

The Starseed Signals was a lost work. RAW set it aside and moved on and the manuscript disappeared.  The story of how it got found and emerged to see the publishing light of day is told on page XI.  Some of this material found its way into Cosmic Trigger, The Final Secret of the Illuminati.  In some regards, this seems like the Bootleg edition, or the expanded out takes reel for Cosmic Trigger.  It gives a lot more background and context to what went on around the time of the creation of Cosmic Trigger, a book that changed my life.   It seems that because it never went through the final process of getting published, RAW's own editing seems less rigorous, more wide open i.e. a lot more left in, than in finished works like Cosmic Trigger.  

This seems an essential read for anyone interested in Dr. Leary's 8 Circuit model of Consciousness, this likely being the first of Wilson's ongoing lifelong exegetical presentations of this model.  I've found that RAW has a unique ability to take complex information and present it an understandable way to average people like myself.  He does that in this book not only with Leary's latest research and taxonomy of consciousness but, to greater or lesser degrees, with a variety of subjects: Aleister Crowley's Magick, LSD, Gurdjieff's system ( less so than Crowley's), longevity and immortality research, Wilhelm Reich, William Burroughs, Space Migration, and the consciousness of plants, among others.  The first two short paragraphs in the book alone references Aldous Huxley, Carl Jung, John Lilly and the value of skepticism. The 8 Circuit model gets the highest percentage of explanation with multiple iterations of it throughout the book.  

The Starseed Signals derives its title from a series of telepathic experiments that Leary and a few others did where they felt they received communication from  an extraterrestrial source of Higher Intelligence.  Independently, and coincidentally, RAW experienced similar contact phenomena around the same period of time.  Starseed also refers to the theory of Panspermia, that life originated in Outer Space, that the chemical "seeds" for life arrived on earth via meteorites.  Leary aligns himself with this hypothesis.

  Sirius, the Dog Star

The subtitle of this book, Link Between Worlds, ostensibly indicates the link between Timothy Leary and Robert Anton Wilson yet this subtitle covers broad territory.  As a student of Magick, I took great interest in the presentation of Wilson's research into Aleister Crowley and how that connects with the Starseed subject matter.  

Naturally, The Starseed Signals transmits multiple signals.  One could consider it a frequently modulating carrier wave like a radio or television (tell a vision) station. The root of signals = signs.  Cabala describes a complex lexicon of signs (semiotics) and we know that RAW availed himself of this method.  I agree with Eric Wagner when he states in his Insider's Guide that one can find Cabala in all of RAW's books, this new find doesn't make an exception.  The praxis of Cabala also opens links between worlds.   

We discover that RAW had begun a book project about Crowley titled Lion of Light.  RAW leads off Chapter 8 (Hod = Mercury = communication)  with a quote from a poem called One Star in Sight showing where he got the title for the Crowley book project:

To man I come, the number of
    A man my number, Lion of Light; 
I am The Beast whose law is love
    Love under will, his royal right –
Behold within, and not above,
    One star in sight!
                                         - Aleister Crowley

The number in question = 666 which, under oath in a Court of Law, Crowley explained as the solar number 6 given three times.

One premise of magick and this book maintains that humans can make contact with Intelligence far beyond the human domain.  The proof of the pudding is in the eating of it; we can carefully and attentively observe the Starseed semiotics and infer whether such contact may have occurred with the invocation of this book much like a physicist might study the residual effects in a Wilson Cloud Chamber after bombarding it with energetic, sub-atomic particles.  Cabalistic semiotics that he wouldn't have consciously known about appears the same rationale Crowley uses to "prove" The Book of the Law came from a Higher Intelligence outside his own.

For instance, the very first word put down by RAW in Chapter One = "This;" the very last word in the book = "service" – the entire text lies between the words, "This service."  The Starseed Signals not only provides a service, in my opinion, it illustrates how to be of service both to self and to others.  Perhaps just a coincidence, yet I find it notable that "this service" = 69 by the Cabalistic method of Notarikon (transposing the initial letters into numbers and adding them).  69 can suggest mutual reciprocation, like the yin/yang symbol of the Tao, or connection, like the edges of a book – Finnegans Wake being a prime example.  The gematria of 69 = " a manger, stable; an enclosure;"  as in the edges that enclose this book.

On page 174 RAW makes a startling admission I've not seen elsewhere, he gives himself away a little more than usual:

"I also developed what occultists call 'inner certainty;' that is, I knew when this sixth circuit faculty was operating and could be trusted. ...

I have now developed a system, based on Crowley combined with Dr. Leary and Dr. John Lilly, in which any ordinary person can be trained to obtain similar results within six weeks, at least on a sporadic and occasional basis.  Further development of the sixth circuit, of course, requires further training."

Later, in a letter to Greg Hill published in the closing pages, RAW mentions that a collection of essays called Prometheus Rising is scheduled for publication.  Perhaps this contains the system he was referring to?  Although he recommends the first exercize  in PR be practiced for 6 months, not 6 weeks.

The Starseed Signals begins with an invocation of Nuit in the form of a poem by Arlen Wilson called Our Lady of Outer Space.  The Notarikon of the book's first phrase, "[t]his is a journey inward and outward..." = 111 which connects with the initials of Anna Livia Plurabelle, the name of the Goddess archetype in Finnegans Wake. A journey inward and outward also alludes to the Thelemic cosmology of Nuit as the infinitely large (outward) mating with Hadit, the infinitely small (inward).  And so on...  

Also of interest to me is the brief description of the group magick workshops RAW gave in Berkeley, the first I've ever heard about that specific activity.

This book begins with a quote from Leary that asks, "[w]hat will be the next step in biological and social evolution?"  One could say that the rest of the book attempts to answer that question along with much insight into researchers who consider it and their methods.  Shortly after, following the introduction and emphasis on skepticism, RAW states the intention of this book:

"But we do not ask the reader to accept anything here as dogma.
     If this book encourages further investigation and original thinking, it will have served its purpose; if it leads only to blind faith in the hypotheses it puts forth, it will have failed entirely."

Saturday, October 31, 2020

Magick Demystified Week 4 Supplemental Materials

I The Magus

The True Self is the meaning of the True Will
know Thyself through Thy Way.
Calculate well the formula of Thy Way.
Create freely; absorb joyously; divide intently;
consolidate completely.
Work thou, Omnipotent, Omniscient, Omnipresent,
in and for Eternity.

The Stele of Revealing

All titles by Aleister Crowley unless otherwise noted


4. Creating A Spiritual Guide by Oz Fritz - good summary of this course


1. The Pathworkings of Aleister Crowley - The Treasure House of Images - by A.C and J. F. C. Fuller
2. An Insider's Guide to Robert Anton Wilson by Eric Wagner
3. The Game of Life by Timothy Leary with contributions by Robert Anton Wilson


1. The Ninth Gate starring Johnny Depp directed by Roman Polanski
2. The Fifth Element starring Bruce Willis and Milla Jovovich
3. The Wizard of Oz - original version.


1. Mind Games by John Lennon
2. The Song Remains the Same by Led Zeppelin - excellent description of Horus
3. My Sweet Lord by George Harrison
4. While My Guitar Gently Weeps by The Beatles
5. Like A Rolling Stone by Bob Dylan
6. A Love Supreme by John Coltrane
7. Beethoven's Ninth Symphony

III The Empress

This is the Harmony of the Universe, that Love
unites the Will to create with the Understanding 
of that Creation: understand thou thine own 
Love and let love.  Rejoice in every shape of love,
and get thy rapture and thy nourishment thereof.

Saturday, October 24, 2020

Magick Demystified Week 3 Supplemental Material


The Universe is Change; every Change is the 
effect of an act of Love: all Acts of Love contain
Pure Joy. Die daily.
Death is the apex of one curve of the snake of Life:
behold all opposites as necessary complements,
and rejoice.


All titles by Crowley unless otherwise noted.

1. Where To Start - Oz Fritz
2. Gematria - Oz Fritz
5. The Wake World - A Qabalistic  Fairy Tale


1. Chicken Qabalah by Lon Milo Duquette (theory)
2. Son of Chicken Qabalah by Lon Milo Duquette (practical)
3. The Mystic Qabalah by Dion Fortune
4. 777 and Other Qabalistic Writings of Aleister Crowley
5. The Book of Thoth
6. Understanding Aleister Crowley's Thoth Tarot - Lon Milo Duquette


1. Stranger in a Strange Land - Robert Henlein
2. Masks of the Illuminatti - Robert Anton Wilson
3. Illuminatus! - Robert Anton Wilson (advanced)



1. The In-Laws (1979 version with Peter Falk and Alan Arkin)
2. Real Men (with Jim Belushi and John Ritter)
3. The Blues Brothers (with John Belushi and Dan Ackroyd)

Saturday, October 17, 2020

Magick Demystified Week 2 Supplemental Material

The Four Elements - visualizations from Initiation into Hermetics by Franz Bardon

Fire: Imagine yourself to be to be in the center of the Fire element, which in the shape of a sphere, encompasses the whole universe.  Imagine that everything around you is fiery.  Now begin to inhale the fire element through your nose and also simultaneously inhale through your whole body.  Inhale deeply with regularity, without compressing the air or straining the lungs.  

The physical and astral bodies must be like empty containers into which the element is inhaled or drawn in with every breath.  The heat of the element must be increased with every breath.  The heat and also the expansive force must continue to increase as must the fiery pressure until you feel fiery-hot.  

Start with seven inhalations of the Fire element, and with every successive exercise increase it by one inhalation.  As a rule, 20 - 30 inhalations should suffice.  Only those students who are physically strong and who possess a great deal of will-power should exceed that number of inhalations in accordance with their ability.  A string of beads can be used if counting interferes.

The next step is the elimination of the Fire element.  Inhale normally through the mouth, and exhale the Fiery element into the whole universe through the mouth and the entire body. The exhalation of the element has to occur as many times as the inhalation.  This is very important because after this exercise has been completed the student must have the feeling that not even the minutest particle of the element has remained within her.  Also, the feeling of heat that was produced must dissipate completely.  Eyes may be open or closed when doing this whole practice.

Air: Same as Fire only we have to imagine a different feeling. Imagine that you are in the center of an air space, one which occupies the entire universe; nothing exists for you other than that the space encompassing the whole universe is filled with air.  Inhale as before.  Every breath adds to the amount of air and with more air you fill the whole body. to such a degree that it resembles an air balloon.  At the same time you must imagine that your body is getting lighter, as light as the air itself.  The feeling of lightness must be so intense that eventually, because of its lightness, you no longer feel your body.  When finished, exhale all the Air element same as you did with Fire.

Water: Imagine that the whole universe is an infinite ocean and you are positioned exactly in the center.  With each total body breath, your body is filled with this element.  You must feel the coldness of the water in your whole body.  The more often you practice this exercise, the more distinctly you will sense the Water element. with its coldness attributes.  You must virtually feel like a lump pf ice.  Each exercise should not exceed 20 minutes.  In time you should be able to cause your body to become ice-cold even on the hottest summer day.  Exhale and banish the element as before.

Earth: Imagine that the entire universe consists only of earth and you are sitting in its center.  Do not imagine the earth to be a lump of clay but instead imagine it to be a dense earthy substance.  The specific attribute of the earth substance is density and gravity (heaviness).  As before, inhale this element.  You must be able, through concentration, to accumulate so much of this earth substance within your body that it feels as heavy as lead and, because of this heaviness, you feel almost paralyzed.  As always, exhale and banish this element when finished.  As with the others, the duration shouldn't exceed 20 minutes.  

You can make use of colors to assist the visualization:
Fire = red
Air = yellow
Water = blue, greenish blue or turquoise
Earth = green


All essays by Aleister Crowley unless otherwise noted.

1. Liber III Jugorum - training of the Will.
 - contains vibration of God names and the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram signs of the grades among other things.
3. Book 4 Part 2 Magick - essays on magickal weapons
4. The Training of the Mind Liber 913 - Ananda Metteya (Alan Bennett)
5. That Old Black Magick - Robert Anton Wilson


1. The Book of Lies (falsely so-called)
2. The Magick of Aleister Crowley - Lon Milo Duquette
3. Darkside Dreamwalker - E. J. Gold

Saturday, October 10, 2020

Magick Demystified Week 1 Supplemental Material

Be every Act an Act of Love and Worship
Be every Act the Fiat of a God
Be every Act a Source of radiant Glory

"Magick is getting into communication with individuals who exist on a higher plane than ours.  Mysticism is the raising of oneself to their level." - Aleister Crowley

Personal Transformation and the Work

Five minute and twenty-three second video by E.J. Gold


The Tree of Life

Recommended Books:

1. Cosmic Trigger Vol. 1, The Final Secret of the Illuminati - Robert Anton Wilson
2. Magick Book 4 Liber ABA - Aleister Crowley
3. Allow Me To Introduce, An Insider's Guide to the Occult - Lon Milo Duquette
4. The American Book of the Dead - E.J. Gold

Like every other science, both the subject and the object of the work increase as the work proceeds.

 - Crowley, Magick Without Tears, p. 501

Monday, October 5, 2020

Suzanne K. Fritz In Memoriam

July 29, 1936 - September 6, 2020

Survived by her three children, Oswald George, Mark Kendel, and Peter Eric Fritz

My Mom's best friend Elaine said that they would jump into Sue's silver Porsche two seat convertible at the beginning of a long weekend with the motto "Destination Unknown" and just drive.  Leaving Vancouver, Canada they might end up in Baja California or take a left somewhere along the line and do a little gambling in Reno.  She was doing this well into her seventies and eighties., sometimes going on camping trips by herself. Last year, at 83, she drove 1400 km from Vancouver to Nevada City, California to help celebrate my 60th birthday.  

It appears she had a similar sense of daring adventure about leaving her body, going on one final, from the earthly perspective, Destination Unknown journey only this time she won't return.  

Suzanne Fritz at age 29

Sue was born in Cleveland, Ohio to Charles and Germaine Kendel.  She was their only child.  Her maternal grandfather made a lot of money at something.  I was told it came from inventing the first smoke detector, but I can't find anything on the internet to support that assertion.  Her grandparents split up in the middle of the Great Depression with a million dollar settlement awarded to the wife.  My mother said she grew up in a socially privileged mileau attending Hathaweay Brown all-girls private school in Shaker Heights and later, Vassar liberal arts college in upstate New York.  She told the story that her mother, Gerry and Gerry's brother Ralph anticipated receiving a large inheritance when their father died, but he tricked them by leaving his fortune to charity.  Sue said she never saw that money so she never missed it.

Sue met her future husband, George Fritz at a physics class they both enrolled in at Case Western Reserve University.  George's working class family and background met with strong disapproval from her socially sensitive, domineering mother who did all she could to break up their union.  That conflict resulted in Sue not inviting her mother to their wedding held on January 31, 1959.  Gerry showed up anyway quite inebriated on booze and pills and made a big scene.  The following week, with Sue and George honeymooning in Quebec City, Canada, Gerry called up her friend, the Archbishop of Cleveland and attempted to get him to annul her daughter's marriage.  That went nowhere after either the Archbishop or someone from his office contacted my parents (I was already in her womb at that point having been conceived in late November, 1958) and learned that my grandmother was out of her effin' mind with the whole annulment thing.  Upon discovering my parents planned to name me after my father, he was OGF Jr., I would be the IIIrd, Jerry announced her refusal to call me by any variation of that name.  My parents compromised by giving me the nickname Mickey, a name I used until High School.  Sue's father, Charles, had the demeanor of a Taoist monk, his low-key demeanor keeping him above the fray.  I don't know what resolved things, but Gerry came to accept Sue's married life.  Her parents even helped out Sue and George by purchasing a modest home for them while my dad pursued his doctorate.  Sue put her own education on hold for about six years, resuming it in 1967 following the birth of her youngest child Peter in June of 1966.  She graduated with Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology in November, 1967.

In the early '60s, Sue had the good fortune to work in the office of famed pediatrician Dr. Benjamin Spock author of Baby and Child Care, one of the best-selling books in history.  Spock was working at Case Western Reserve University at the time.  My mother said that he would often tell her what I was going to do next as a growing toddler and he was always right.

Both my mother and father loved the outdoors and getting out of the big city.  They camped across the United States on their way to California in the summer of 1967 then again the following summer in 1968 this time taking their kids and as much of their belongings that they could stuff into the family Dodge relocating our home to Palo Alto for a year where George did post-graduate research at Stanford.  We moved to Calgary, Alberta, Canada in the summer of 1969.  Except for a couple years living back in Cleveland in the mid 70's, Sue never resided outside of Canada again, eventually becoming a citizen.

Sue split from my dad and left the family in late 1970 or early '71 largely over a dispute over her wishes for a career in social work.  George retained custody of the children, but Sue visited them frequently and took them on outings.  From my perspective, she changed overnight into a much more liberal parent.  It seems in retrospect that moving from out of my father's shadow allowed her to express and be herself more fully.  Social workers had very bohemian attitudes that influenced Sue.  Through her, I was exposed to the artistic, creative side of hippie culture at the ripe old age of 12.  She would let me listen to her albums - Goats Head Soup by The Rolling Stones, Joe Cocker's Mad Dogs and Englishmen and Hot Buttered Soul by Isaac Hayes are ones I remember.  She took us to see the film Easy Rider, that stellar soundtrack was one of the three eight-track tapes on endless loop for long car rides.  She once told me about going to and enjoying an Alice Cooper concert.

In the mid to late '70's she relocated to Vernon, B.C. in the Okanagan Valley, an extremely beautiful and fertile part of the world.  My brother Mark went to live with her there.  She continued her education along with her social work.  Sometime in the mid-seventies, she took a Neurolinguistic Programming seminar with Richard Bandler  for a few weeks that made a strong impression.  She showed me how she used techniques learned there with her clients and how it made a big difference in nonverbally  and quickly gaining their trust.  I believe she got a Masters degree in Psychology somewhere along the way, her Facebook page says she went to UBC.  Maybe I'll learn more about her life when they let me into Canada to retrieve her personal effects. 

Sue was delighted when some of the boys in the band I did sound for, Sargent, and I stayed at her house high in the hills just outside Vernon when gigging there in the early '80s.  We'd stay there for a week at a time on a couple of different occasions; she often brought up that time and asked about the band members later in life. 

That's the first instance of her supporting my audio engineering career. In 1984 I sold all my gear and moved to New York to attend the Institute of Audio Research and get a degree in Recording Arts.  I ran out of money about halfway through and began supporting myself with a job as a foot messenger when not in class.  Mom came through big time covering my living expenses for the remaining 4 or 5 months allowing for a more relaxed school term.  She always came out when I was working in her area, for instance driving down to Seattle to hear Meridiem (Percy Howard, Bill Laswell, Fred Frith, Charles Hayward) perform and meet them backstage.  In the fall of 2017 and 2018 she came out to the Vancouver shows when I toured with Simrit.  She loved the music and let everyone know with articulate, detailed comments to them personally after the 2017 concert.  In 2018, she volunteered to make the pre-show food run proving most helpful as we scrambled to work with some borrowed equipment following a break-in and theft the previous night.  

During the early 90's she began running a government funded center for mentally handicapped adults.  As the Chief Administrator, she got that running smoothly giving her time to invest in and operate a coffee shop in a Vernon mall.  Her friend Elaine said that she gave a lot of dubiously employable young kids a chance to work there, some she would have to fire, but that didn't stop Sue from giving others a chance, a throwback to her beginning social work days.  Her first job, in the early '70's, was at a place called Hull Home in Calgary, a residence for emotionally disturbed adolescents.  

I believe her center got defunded at some point in the 90's leading to a decision to retire to Vancouver, Richmond to be precise.  The coffee shop went out of business when Starbucks became all the rage.  She continued to stay active and socially involved, volunteering for political campaigns she supported as well as for the Operation Rednose program the government ran every New Year's Eve where people too drunk to drive could call and get a free ride from a volunteer like Sue.  She had an exercise regimen of swimming every day which terminated with the covid lockdown.  I suspect that played a major contribution to her body breaking down.

Sue and I in front of John Lennon's psychedelic Cadillac at Vancouver's World Fair in 1986.
We had just enjoyed a set of music by the phenomenal blind guitarist Jeff Healy.

The circumstances around her death seem quite revealing, I learned much by the elegant way she wrapped up her life and journeyed into the unknown.  The wrap-up began when she called in June to let me know that she'd been treated for blood clots in her arms and legs.  To my knowledge, this was the first medical issue she had to deal with in something like 15 - 20 years.  She stressed to me the minor importance of this condition, not to worry, she just wanted to let me know.  I accepted her report at face value and didn't worry.  I had been concerned about her after the first 4 to 6 weeks in lockdown after she mentioned being generally bored.  I've noticed from past experience that some elderly people who feel bored most of the time tend to enter the beginning of the end of their current human incarnation.  A natural inclination to move on to something else, why stick around if bored all the time stuck inside a declining body.  I asked if I should send her books to read and suggested watching films but she said she was all right feeling bored.  

In July she called with a diagnosis of cancer, but they didn't know what kind, possibly breast cancer.  From that point until about a week before she passed, the full extent of her medical condition remained largely unknown because not until then did I get a briefing from the last ICU doctor treating her.  Her regular doctor seemed to be on vacation for much of July and August which brought stress to her as she didn't like the substitute doctor.  About a week later she sent an email with the single sentence: "I have stage four long cancer" (sic).  I googled "stage 4 lung cancer" to see exactly what that meant and found out that this type of cancer rarely, if ever, gets diagnosed before reaching stage 4. Also, that patients can live up to 5 years with successful treatment.  Then I called and asked how she felt about that.  I expected an emotional reaction of some sort, but she went into an accelerated spiel of all the preparations she had started making for her demise - her and a kind neighbor, Linda, wise in the ways of service, had begun packing up all her belongings, and rented a storage place  to put everything. I was supposed to drive up within 3 months and get it all, her bank account would be signed over to me at some point etc. etc., all these plans.  I interrupted her at some point rather alarmed that she had jumped from receiving a  fatal, at some point, diagnosis to complete endgame and said, no that's not what I'm asking, how do you feel about the situation, how do you feel about death?  The question seemed to calm her down and she answered dispassionately, "I'm curious about it, why, are you going to convert me to something?"  It seemed quite remarkable to me that she expressed not the slightest trace of fear.  She told me that she was 84 years old, had done and seen a lot, was sick of seeing Trump on tv, there's rioting in the streets, she saw no reason to stick around.  That message stayed consistent, she repeated it again from her hospital bed and when my sister's sister Kirsty, a practicing MD in Vancouver visited Sue and had a heart to heart conversation with her about medical options, she indicated that she didn't want aggressive treatments like chemotherapy to prolong her life, she only wanted the remaining time she had left to be made as comfortable as possible.  Her last words to me were "I love you, I gotta go."

I've wondered how she was able to handle death so well, she wasn't religious and didn't have any meditation practices I knew about.  It was just the opposite for my father who appeared terrified the day before his final surgery, though he was much younger, 58.   Her psychological background and social work with adults and adolescents needing help probably gave her great training in dealing with high stress situations; how to stay calm when everything breaks down.

She told Linda that she wouldn't be alive past August, but she didn't communicate anything like that to me or my brothers always staying upbeat, she delayed communicating her condition to them until I insisted.  She seemed concerned that her death not be an inconvenience to anyone, that consideration always makes me sad when I think about it. 

Around August 9th I had the urge to hear a song called Sunday Morning originally performed by Nico and the Velvet Underground.  I knew it well, from the inside out having mixed a cover of it by HuDost about six years ago.  I listened to their version then got the V.U. version and had both versions on regular rotation; no idea why, at the time, that song came up.  Sue permanently left her body on a Sunday morning.  I felt ripped wide open but kept it together to get into my floatation tank to send her prayers and love.  At times I went into moments of intense weeping and grief before remembering that I was there to help her with the transition and that sadness didn't help at all.  I did feel moments of contact, at one point I thought I received a communication from her that she was doing all right.  Clearly, that could have been imaginary wishful thinking though it does seems consistent with how she approached death and other subsequent indications.  I've been doing the practice of attempting contact and reading every night from the American Book of the Dead which maps out the 49 Chamber bardo voyage.  I suspect the readings help me more than they do her, it feels good to do that for her, the least I could do for the blessed one who brought me into the world.

Saturday, September 26, 2020

Thoughts on Reading Proust Part 2

Singing to the ocean, I can hear the ocean's roar
Play for me, I play for free, I play the whole night long
Sing about the good things and the sun that lights the day
I used to sing for the ocean, has the ocean lost its way? (I don't think so)

- Led Zeppelin, The Ocean, Madison Square Garden, 1973

The expressed world is made of differential relations and of contiguous singularities.

- Gilles Deleuze, The Logic of Sense

A philosopher who was not sufficiently modern for her, Leibniz, has said that the journey from the intellect to the heart is a long one.  - Marcel Proust, Sodom and Gomorrah, In Search of Lost Time Vol. 4

As far as I can tell, the last quote appears a fabrication by Proust, therefore making it interesting to speculate why he chose one of the inventors of calculus to deliver that information, a philosopher also known for his theory of the monad.  "Leibniz held the famous thesis that each individual monad expresses the world" (Deleuze, LoS).  Leibnez may have been chosen simply for his intellectual brilliance, to become that luminous and expressive with the intelligence of the heart makes for a long journey, takes a long time, then again, traveling through In Search of Lost Time also constitutes a long bardo journey.  Or maybe Leibnez did say it, and no one noticed but Proust?

On one level, In Search of Lost Time provides an education for what G. I. Gurdjieff called the Emotional Centrum.  Contemporary mainstream culture, for the most part, doesn't acknowledge the complexity and power of this centrum to act as a brain as equally, if not more, complex, nuanced, and motive than the Intellectual Centrum.  "And later when my "I," that is, this "something unknown" which in ancient times a certain eccentric — called by those around him a "learned (wo)man," as we still call such persons — defined as a "relatively mobile arising, depending on the quality of functioning of the thought, feeling and organic automatism." (Gurdjieff, Beelzebub's Tales to His Grandson, translation modified).

Many tools, resources, programs and facilities - libraries, colleges, universities, Think Tanks etc. exist to educate the mind, the intellect, however we desire.  Now, you can type in any subject to google and receive knowledge at your fingertips.  It also seems relatively easy to educate and improve the physical mechanism, the organic automatism, i. e. the body which also has a unique intelligence, it has its own brain, the nervous system.

Education of the heart can happen with an effort to engage with Art.  Repeat as necessary; difference and repetition.  Music, literature, paintings, etc. generate aesthetics that open up tracks into new territories reaching far beyond the semantic symbol systems and rationalism of the thinking centrum.  So does learning to play an instrument, writing a story or making a drawing.  Most people appear unaware of this vast unknown territory and the power it may enable.  The power to create.  Just like you can study, research and experiment with a science until becoming an expert, or like achieving exceptional physical fitness, discipline and mastery over the body at a gym, dojo, or ashram, the same intensity of applied effort can yield equally dramatic results for opening the feeling centrum.  And it all  seems cumulative, even with setbacks, it all comes back with persistence.

Gurdjieff designated the expanded, mostly undiscovered and unrealized territory and intelligence of the heart as the Higher Emotional Centrum.  Timothy Leary, his heir apparent in the taxonomy of consciousness, called it the neuro-electric circuit (C6) acknowledging it as a "brain" that received and transmitted electrically.  

Reminiscing on the women he has loved, the narrator, Proust, says:

"Yet my one joy was to see them, my one anxiety to wait for them.  It was as if a virtue having no connection with them had been adjoined to them incidentally by nature, and that this virtue, this electricity-like power, had the effect on me of exciting my love, that is to say of directing all my actions and causing all my sufferings.  But from this, the beauty, or the intelligence, or the the goodness of these women was wholly distinct.  As though by an electric current that moves you, I have been shaken by my love affairs, I have lived them, I have felt them; never have I succeeded in seeing them or thinking them. 

- The Guermantes Way, Vol. 3

If we take the word "heart" in the Leibnez quote to mean the Higher Emotional centrum, then it certainly makes for a long journey for the intellect to get there.  Once there, you then need to learn to stay and how to function there, to not get completely stunned or frightened by the experience, the increased intensities and hyper sensitivities.  Much of what I've read of Proust reveals a sense of that territory and how to manage there.    

"Then my grandmother came in , and to the expansion of my ebbing heart there opened at once an infinity of space.

... I knew, when I was with my grandmother, that however great the misery that there was in me, it would be received by her with a pity still more vast; that everything that was mine, my cares, my wishes, would be, in my grandmother, supported upon a desire to save and prolong my life that was stronger than mine own; and my thoughts were continued in her without having to undergo any deflection, since they passed from my mind into hers without change of atmosphere or of personality.

I threw myself into the arms of my grandmother and clung with my lips to her face as though I had access thus to that immense heart which she opened to me. And when I felt my mouth glued to her cheeks, to her brow, I drew from them something so beneficial, so nourishing that I lay in her arms as motionless, as solemn as calmly gluttonous as a babe at the breast." 
- Within A Budding Grove, Vol. 2

Gurdjieff would say, it's definitely not all "roses, roses" we find many thorns there too.  Increased sensitivity applies to both pain and joy with whole range of emotions and mixture in between.  Proust has an incredible ability to explore all the degrees and various intensities of emotional flows.  Just as, if not more, important he shows how emotions of all kinds non-verbally communicate, through signs.

Deciphering signs shows one major way the intellect journeys to the heart.  Gilles Deleuze writes:

Learning is essentially concerned with signs.  Signs are the object of a temporal apprenticeship, not of an abstract knowledge. To learn is first of all to consider a substance, an object, a being as if it emitted signs to be deciphered, interpreted.  There is no apprentice who is not 'the Egyptologist' of something. One becomes a carpenter only by becoming sensitive to the signs of wood, a physician by becoming sensitive to the signs of disease. Vocation is always predestination with regard to signs.  Everything that teaches us something emits signs; every act of learning is an interpretation of signs or hieroglyphs.  Proust's work is not based on the exposition of memory, but on the apprenticeship to signs.
Everything exists in those obscure zones we penetrate as into crypts, in order to decipher hieroglyphs and secret languages.  The Egyptologist, in all things, is the (wo)man who undergoes initiation — the apprentice.
- Proust and Signs, p. 4 

His comment about the apprentice connects with this quote from the Overture in Swann's Way which talks about degrees of emotion around love:

"— to him that anguish came through Love, to which in a sense it is predestined, by which it must be equipped and adapted; but when, as had befallen me, such an anguish possesses one's soul before Love has entered one's life, then it must drift, awaiting Love's coming, vague and free, without precise attachment, at the disposal of one sentiment to-day, of another to-morrow, of filial pity or affection for a comrade.  And the joy with which I first bound myself apprentice ..."

"Alas! in the freshest flower it is possible to discern those just perceptible signs which to the instructed mind indicate already what will be, by the dessication or fructification of the flesh that is to-day in bloom, the ultimate form, immutable and already predestinate of the autumnal seed." 
 - Within A Budding Grove

* * * * * * 

Of all the arts, perhaps good music provides the optimum way to access higher states of consciousness; to educate the heart, the higher emotional centrum that serves as Grand Central Station for tracks into unknown new territories.  I may be biased, though Deleuze said he wrote philosophy only because he couldn't play the music that would express his ideas.  Most, if not all, great literary writers have some musical component in their writing and/or write about music.  We find a great deal of music in Proust.  

In this passage, from Sodom and Gomorrah, ISoLT Vol. 4, the narrator grieves for his grandmother, not long dead, at Balbec, a summer resort town they stayed at some years past.  At the time, he felt very anxious about staying in a strange place so his grandmother told him to knock on the partition separating their quarters and she would be right over.  It shows the connection between music and the subtleties of emotion as well as how emotions communicate through signs.

I turned toward the wall, but, alas, against me was the partition that had served of old between us as a morning messenger, that partition which, docile as a violin in rendering all the nuances of a feeling, spoke so exactly to my grandmother of my fear both of waking her up, or if she was already awake, of not being heard by her, and of her not daring to move, then at once, like a second instrument taking it up, announcing her coming and exhorting me to stay calm.  I no more dared to approach that partition than a piano on which my grandmother had been playing and that was vibrating still from her touch.  

The last line use a musical analogy to illustrate the emotional reaction triggered by the partition and the depth of the narrator's grief.  

The Guermantes Way, Volume 3 of our saga, has a scene towards the end that shocks the younger narrator when he receives the  full wrath of a prominent society figure, M. de Charlus, whom he barely knows, for an imagined wrong.  The whole confrontation gets compared by both characters at different moments to aspects of symphonic music.  For instance, we feel the emotional intensity, the fear in the air, when hearing:

(His normally forceful voice, which tended to make people turn in the street, was a hundred times more forceful as a forte is when played by an orchestra rather than on the piano, and changed to a fortissimo at the same time.  M. de Charlus roared.)

This violent outburst takes the narrator completely by surprise and thrusts him into unknown, chaotic territory.  Will he be able to keep it together?  Not really.

Almost everything else was the result of a feeling yet unknown to me, and which I could not therefore be blamed for underestimating.  In the absence of my familiarity with this feeling, I could at least, had I remembered Mme de Guermante's words, assumed an element of madness in this pride of his.  But at the time, the element of madness did not cross my mind. As I saw it, he was filled merely with pride, I merely with fury.

Violent actions ensue, the narrator in his fury destroys his accuser's top hat.  They argue for a few pages then de Charlus starts to calm down though still lecturing condescendingly to the narrator.  First we see him directing the narrator's attention to paintings to shift the mood, then Proust blatantly and synchronisticly brings  music into the scene to start resolving the dischord; de Charlus speaking to the narrator:

"If this sort of beauty appeals to you more, here is a rainbow by Turner beginning to shine out between these two Rembrandts, as a sign of our reconciliation.  Can you hear?  Beethoven has come to join him." And indeed, the first chords of the third movement of the Pastoral Symphony, "Joy After the Storm," could be heard, performed somewhere close by, on the first floor perhaps by a group of musicians.  "There you are, one never knows.  One really never knows.  Invisible music."

Proust gives music a central role early in the novel when he makes a musical passage, the Vinteuil Sonata, a mnemonic device with for the love Charles Swann has for his paramour Odette, later to be his wife.  This piece of music and the feeling it conjures recurs both literally and figuratively a few times in Swann's Way.